Southwestern Men

Why You're Visiting and Where You Are:


The American Southwest is the most beautiful continuous landscape in the world. There is nothing quite like it anywhere else on earth. The American Southwest is Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico (no, this is not part of Mexico), Arizona, Utah, and Nevada.


You've come here to come to a big city like Las Vegas, Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, Phoenix, and Salt Lake City for work or want to do some hiking on a vacation in any one of these gorgeous states and there is so much to see that you wish you could live here. Chances are you're a nature girl and are considering living in this big broad expanse of land that is remarkably unpopulated for such an incredible place that has some of the best weather on earth. You are enchanted...completely dazzled and feel so lucky to be alive in such a beautiful place.


Southwestern Men:


You are in for a treat when you go looking for a man in the American Southwest. These are the most easy-going, easy to please, versatile men in all of the continent. They are always tanned because the sun is always shining, they are easy and content with themselves, and they are very tolerant of racial and cultural diversity because their land is full of people who came this far for very intentional reasons and they don't seek to make them assimilate into whatever they believe is the "local culture". 


This is the land of the American Cowboy and just in case you didn't know it, men still wear cowboy hats in the Southwest and they look simply gorgeous in them. There are four kinds of major cultures in the Southwest; the Gringos, the Spaniards, the Intellectuals, and the Native Americans. When discussing Southwestern Men it's important to be clear about the features of each group. 


The Gringos can be anyone but the primary person I am talking about are the non-Hispanic people who came there recently or during the drive for the settlers to move west in the early 1800s. Gringos are relatively educated but not overly so, are mostly the working class in the region, and are the people who mix beautifully with whomever chooses to move into the region. One particular Gringo group are the Mormons who really are a class all of their own and I will discuss them briefly in another entry.


The American-Spaniards of the region are not like the Mexican people south of the American border. They are tall, have a different accent, and have been connected with the Gringos both culturally and genetically. They are fairer than their south-of-the-border brothers and even have a different cuisine.


The Intellectuals are the artists who came to the region to paint, open galleries, and leave the rough world of the east behind. Often you'll hear them talking about the east coast as "back east" as if they just came from there. The newer Intellectuals are those that have come to the region for the high technical jobs that have opened up all over the region. They bought the beautiful homes that were recently constructed and are enjoying the perfect weather this very minute as you read this. Together, these men are a wonderful group to choose from.

The Native American Men will not even entertain speaking to you let alone look at you. He's not interested in mingling with women outside of his tribe and will not be going on a date with you for any reason. He probably has a wife, children, and a strong connection to his mother and he's only 18 years old. He's handsome though and tall so you might notice him. He will not be wearing feathers or bones but will be wearing jeans, shirts, turquoise jewelry, and has long black mirror-like hair.


Where To Meet Him:


There are plenty of venues to meet a man in the Southwest and they will not miss a beat if you're from wherever on the planet. They will want to know you and won't be too curious or ask a lot of irritating questions. If they are attracted to you it's no problem if you're from the moon in his opinion. There are plenty of hotels with courtyards, lovely outdoor beer and wine restaurants, hiking groups, camping groups, colleges, festivals, and rodeos as venues to meet him. The only obstacle is that people tend to marry young in this region and there might not be too many men left to choose from in your age group however divorce is very common and you might meet someone who has an ex-wife and / or children.


What He'll Look Like and How He Will Act:


The Gringo will be nice to look at and will either be wearing fairly nice clothing or street rat rags on his body. Completely disregard the street rat of course. Men of the Southwest aren't particular about what they wear but they are not fashion-blind like men of the Mid-Atlantic. The Gringo will be just like a Midwest Man in many ways but will tolerate your sarcastic side better although it will be new to him he's more adaptable. 


The Intellectuals will look like they just got out of bed and are wearing their pajamas or hiking clothes and haven't taken a bath in at least a week. They drive Subaru cars to they are easy to spot. Often they have facial hair but aren't too crazy about tattoos. They like yoga, organic vegetarian foods, trendy human rights issues, environmental concerns, wearing thick socks with sandals, and not matching their clothes. They are often very philosophical people if you can deal with the grubbiness. The Intellectual will notice you only as if he's studying a behavior of yours and is above sexual attraction because he meditated that morning about how he's not going to succumb to the needs of his penis. He'll get over it once he knows how irresistible you are.


The American-Spaniards will be very well dressed and look amazing. He will approach you whether you notice him or not. Chances are his wife is waiting for him to come out of the store you're both in so check for a wedding ring or a woman waiting in the car (no, it's not his sister). 


What Kind of Girl He's Used To:


The typical "Non-Spaniard Southwestern Woman" is an artist, or a student, or a worker, and are good girls. You won't have any problem from them. They are the laid back girls of the country and aren't interested why you're here as they just consider you a "new settler" or a "new American" - they don't have a lot of preconceived notions about why you would ever choose to visit or live in the American Southwest. They make good friends and will enjoy your company greatly. They have almost no prejudices and are very welcoming to all cultures and religious groups.


Now take this description and turn it on it's head and you've got the American-Spanish Woman. She is a VIPER of the highest order. DO NOT MESS WITH HER under any circumstances. Even if you are an Italian Girl from Sicily and believe that you are tougher than her, you'd be very wrong. It's not that she would ever do you bodily harm (although do not rule this out completely) - she will wreck your life if she can and has the veracity and patience to haunt you throughout your lifetime. You see, when she was 10 years old she met Juan and decided that when they grew up she would marry him. Her mother and HIS mother told her that this was possible. The bonds between these families run deep and are very sacred to their communities. Imagine Spain in the 1500s and The Inquisition...that is what the present-day American-Spanish community is like.


Let's say that Juan grows up, is smart, and decides to go to college and then meets you. It's his first "grown up" relationship and he feels very liberated to have met you. Forget him. Don't even go there in your heart or mind. You're asking for a life of misery if you do. His childhood sweetheart will be a crazy stalker sabotaging you because she -  1. Might be the mother of Juan's first child - 2. She has the backing of every mother in the Southwest to torture you - 3. She will call Juan consistently for years to make him feel awful for abandoning his culture and he will not try to stop her because he does feel guilty. You'll never be welcomed here. Dump him and find someone else before it gets serious. 


If you happen to meet that most elusive and rare of American-Spanish Men, the ones who haven't been claimed by some girl from childhood, then scoop him up but never stop looking over your shoulder. You might even get tremendously lucky and meet a man who has Gringo / Spanish / Native American parents. You'll never see a more handsome man and you will be a welcomed member of the family adding to the genetic party!


Where Your Blind Spot Is:


Your biggest blindspot will be recognizing the American-Spanish Man's ex-girlfriend / wife / childhood sweetheart. Be sure you know his history from the first date and ask about it several times in different ways to be sure the story is the same each time he tells it and that he's not lying. It's not that he wants to lie to you, but he doesn't want to scare you off and he'd like to date you without worrying that you'll be afraid of being stabbed by his "loco-child-bride".

The Big Date:


The Intellectual will begin the night at a yoga class (for him) and then meditate before texting you. If he doesn't make you pick him up, he'll meet you at a coffee bar where he might bring his guitar and just tune it while you sip your coffee as he might not know how to play it really. Then you'll dine on half of his sandwich that you paid for and he'll escort you back to his front door where he will thank you and say goodbye. He sucks really. Don't even go out with him in the first place - you'll be shocked at how bad he is at dating.


The Gringo will bring you to a chain restaurant and then to an action film at a Cineplex movie theater. You'll have a "typical" time like most of Americans. He will invite you back to his apartment where he hopes you'll have sex with him. It's pretty straightforward. No mystery here.


The American-Spaniard will bring you to an amazing Hispanic Restaurant in a little hamlet somewhere up on the most beautiful mountain you've ever seen. This is because he's hiding from his wife and / or kids. You'll be treated to native flavors like you've never had before and will adore his white cowboy hat. He will order in Spanish and hold your hand under the table (in case his wife's childhood friend is in the restaurant and recognizes him). 


Again, you won't be on a date with a Native American. You might SEE one at the restaurant or at the movies, but he will be with his brothers and he won't see you.